To Whom It May Concern:

Hello,

I'm single and ready to mingle with a specific individual who is also single and possibly ready to mingle. I know that he's out there in cyberspace because everyone is in cyberspace. I just pay attention to his space more than others. I wish that I was Roxanne and he was Max; we could go see a Powerline concert in LA instead of him going fishing with his dad. My life is forever alone unless you, the possible mingler, do something about it, because we both know that I'm not going to do anything about it. No matter how much I may be attracted to you.

Just love me already. We can be forever alone... together.

Sincerely, and most desperately,

Mandy

I HOPE YOU FINALLY FIGURE IT OUT. I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU THIS WHOLE TIME.